Birds are a***holes. The struggles of gardening.

Birds are a***holes. The struggles of gardening.
Birds are a**holes.

 Fun to watch, but still...a**holes.

 My husband and I put together a 32x40 foot garden space. Half of which will be fruits and veggies, the other half will be flowers and a "mom's only" wine/coffee drinking garden patio.

 Everything was going so well...then the birds happened. 
I spent 3 days planting my fruits and veggies in my garden only to have them devoured by the annoying bird conference that seemed to think I was setting out a buffet for their f*****g "coffee hour". I swear there are thousands of blackbirds living on our farm and they all hate me.

So after screaming to the clouds while shaking my fists in the air and dropping 17 different varieties of f-bombs (I even kicked some dirt, but the wind blew it back in my face) I gathered every pot, container, leftover section of fencing, chicken wire, and two shovels and spent the morning trying to salvage what I have left.
My garden now resembles the unorganized Walmart gardening center with what I've got going on out there, but I'm hoping my overuse of critter barricades will deter these f*****g birds from chowing down on my watermelons.





My hands are bleeding, raw, and dirty as hell, but if the critters learn their place it'll be all worth it. F**k you birds.

 On another note:

 The one thing I am super proud of (it's not pretty but it's functional) is my tabletop herb garden I constructed with new and spare parts. I used new 2x4s which will eventually be painted, an old table I pulled out of our junk pile, and the base of my daughter's old toddler bed - which I have yet to chicken wire - as a hinged lid to keep the a**hole birds out:
Bird proofing the garden plants

Herb garden raised planting box

 Not to toot my own horn, but it turned out MUCH better than I expected, considering how angry and frustrated I was when I built it this morning. The sunflower gives it its flair, of course.

 It also gives my poor pathetic garden a little pop while it's stuck in the waiting period for flowers and the patio construction to fill in the rest.

 Soon I'll be scouring the countryside for large flat rocks to make the paths that will go throughout the garden so my wee little toes (side note - I have huge feet) don't turn black every time I step out there with flip-flops on.

 Maybe by the middle of June, it will be an acceptable, not so pathetic, functional wine/coffee drinking garden so I can host a classy-drunk-lady-floppy-hat-garden party.

 Future garden projects will include: replacing the ugly garden fence with a fancy-pants wooden fence and constructing raised beds for the entire edible side. I may need more metal sunflowers.

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